Harley Reid denounces team Parma, officially joins team Parmi as he accepts his fate

AFL’s No.1 draft pick has watched the Crows get up over the Eagles at Perth Stadium with great interest. As it became clear the Eagles couldn’t secure the win and he’d likely be heading west he decided to make a big change.

Sources close to the young’n told The Times that during the late minutes of the game, he confessed to a friend that he was really hankering for a classic Perth parmi. Adding,

“It was pretty hard to hear. He’d been a parma man for as long as I can remember so hearing him say parmi was like sandpaper to my ears. I understand what he’s doing. He’s accepting his fate and coming to terms with it”

He was so keen to understand what the parmi life was like, that he even spent several minutes trawling through food delivery apps to see if any restaurant could deliver him a fair dinkum parmi.

His mates all agreed to “let this one slide” but couldn’t extend the same leniency to when Harley declared that the game made him feel like a couple of middies. His mate told The Times,

“It’s a pot. A pot of delicious Melbourne Bitter. He keeps talking about a middie of Swanny D. Again, I understand but how much can we tolerate? Don’t forget we have supported him through this journey too. He can’t turn his back on us!”

The news that Harley has joined team Parmi supported earlier reports by The Times that Harley has learned to order a long mac topped up and put his feelers out for a jet ski.

(Probably) welcome aboard young Harley. You might also want to scrub “devon” from your vocabulary.

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