Mates Enjoy Relaxing Day Of Aggressively Ranting About The Order Of Hottest 100 Tracks

There is nothing like spending quality time with mates. Especially over a few cold ones, a sizzling BBQ, and accusations that anyone who doesn’t hold your opinion is a musically illiterate piece of shit who should’ve been punted off a cliff at birth like a Spartan reject.

Such a harmonious occasion is occurring right now at an Attadale pool party. Where a group of self-proclaimed audiophiles are at each other’s throats arguing about the nation’s most washed music contest. We spoke to Ben who told The Times,

“I may have lost my cool a little bit when a Hilltop Hoods song made the list. I said it had no business being named and a friend said it was a catchy tune. I told him that’s why his girlfriend left him and why he’s been crying in the shower for the past 2 months. What a cun…”

Similarly, Charlie’s misso has told him he’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight after he expressed delight in Lime Cordiale making the list. She told The Times,

“The thought of this hipster wannabe turd touching me makes me sick now. How could he think Lime Cordiale is good? Ick. I am seriously considering telling everyone about his intimacy issues, Captain Pegs-a-lot”

The day is still young and so far the group hasn’t gotten into a physical altercation. However, a musically-neutral friend at the BBQ predicts it won’t be long. Adding,

“It’s getting pretty nasty. I reckon we’ll have a punch on by the top 15. That’s when things usually get pretty interesting at this yearly event”

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