Authorities believe they have located the infamously lost radioactive capsule after reports a Landcruiser numpty vanished into the future after hitting 142kph trying to block several cars from overtaking it.
We spoke to a witness who was losing his shit behind the 200 series for the better part of 20km. He told The Times,
“Yeah typical wanker mate. Was plodding along at 80kph until his selfish little beady boomer eyes spotted the overtake lane ahead. Then he floored it. However, he must’ve picked up the radioactive thingo because as soon as he hit 142kph his tyre marks lit up and he vanished”
Authorities state that instances of time travel are quite rare but weren’t surprised. A spokesperson for the DFES told The Times,
“What we are seeing is a lot of these new fourby owners buying accessories that they don’t need or understand. For most of them it’s MaxTrax or a snorkel but it looks like this boomer got the flux capacitor sports package. So all it needed was the fuel to kick in. We believe he went full Delorean on that stretch of road”
Speaking to a psychic medium, we understand that the Landcruiser found itself in the year 3030 in Perth. She told The Times,
‘Luckily it wasn’t too much of a shock for our time travellers. He is comfortable knowing not much has changed. Freeway roadworks are still going, McGowans held office for 1000 straight years and we just got a Five Guys burger chain. There was a line all the way to the Nullabor for it”
For the time being, the state can breathe a sigh of relief as the radioactive menace is safely isolated 1000+ years into the future. More to come.
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