My Day On A Plate – With Davo

People are always asking me, Davo how do you piss & shit excellence every farken day of your loife. I tell em that it all starts with the right diet. Enjoy me day on a plate and maybe youse can achieve great things too.

6:30am: punch darts while cracking me first Dare for the day while dropping the kids off at the pool. Leave some piss on the toilet seat for good luck.

9:00am: smoko – 2 Mrs Macs with 4 sauces per pie as that’s me only source of veggies haha. Then 3 more iced coffees – activated with a special blend of crystal twirled in me pippy to perfection. Chef’s kiss.

12:00pm: take the edge off with a quick compression session in me dual cab with the weed I knicked off my appreno (I’ll smash him if he asks for some coin for it)

2:30pm: smash more darts while vocalising me goals on what the apprenno needs to get done tomorrow because it’s me day off and I did fark all today.

3:15pm: tools down so time to cleanse my internal yearning with 6-8 pints of Swan from the nearest back bar.

6:00pm: treat meself to a four pack of Woodies for the 15 minute drive home. Getting in the mood to tell the misso I wan’t a different kind of fish finger for tea tonight.

3:30am: foiiiinallly get to sleep. Send a message to me dealer saying those rocks were kootz. Make a mental note to blow smaller clouds next time.

There ya have it ya pack of bloody pelicans. It’s all about putting the right fuel in ya body. Now piss off I’ve got an absolute rager of a headache and have gotta go do a cashie job in a coupla.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?