It has been a tense few years for fruit bun lovers who are feeling increasingly shamed by society for indulging in their favourite snack outside the strict period of Easter.
Every mouthbreather and their dog seems to think the world is interested in their thoughts on the appropriate availability of fruit buns, especially hot cross buns. Even the media lost control earlier this year running shitpost after shitpost in an attempt to make society even dumber.
Well, for WA woman Carla, the time has finally come where she can just slob a shitload of butter onto a poorly toasted hot X bun in her work kitchenette and just enjoy it without judgmental eyes gazing upon her. She told The Times,
“At the end of the day, it’s a bun with raisins in it. Who gives a shit when they are available? Well apparently a lot do and it’s only during this specific long weekend that I feel truly comfortable with my desires. I enjoyed two today without a single person asking me if I thought it was against the Geneva Conventions to sell them after X-Mas”
We spoke to a bingo-winged admin lady who spent the better part of 4 months raging on community forums about the availability of the treat from the 26th of December. She told The Times,
“I smelled the undeniable aroma of a toasted fruit bun and I popped in to make everything was ok. This is a very sensitive topic for me. I was satisfied it was a seasonally appropriate hot X bun, done traditionally, none of this chocolate chips or anything I personally deem to be wrong”
Alas, not all was well in the office. With another admin lady taking it upon herself to make it clear that any hot cross buns left after the long weekend will be binned without further warning. She told The Times,
“I’m a purist. Hot cross buns MUST be consumed over the EASTER long weekend. Not a day earlier and not a day sooner. I have already lodged a formal complaint with HR about Carla eating on Wednesday. IT IS TOO EARLY”