In what we believe is a world first, the WA Government has turned its sights on passionate “mishaps” in the backseat of the outer suburb’s favourite mobile den of delights.
The message is very simple, secure your load by using the appropriate means because frankly, it’s about time you admitted to yourself that your pull-out game is atrocious and society can’t handle another butchering of the English language when you name your next mistake.
We spoke to Dominik who told us that he wished he’d took notice of the important message before it was too late,
“Brooo, I already have 3 kids, I said this wouldn’t farken happen again. You know how it is though, just finished stuffing me face at Hogs Breath to celebrate fly out day with the new misso. Seeing her try to slip a 3 year old voucher through was the icing on me cock-cake mate, that gets me revving to go”
We asked what happened next,
“I thought Id have it under control bro, had like 6 jacks that should’ve numbed the ol horse and stopped him from bolting but yeah, nah, that didn’t happen”
He took a moment to check the results of a horse race he’d punted on only moments earlier before continuing,
Was like a fire hydrant had exploded in the back on my VE. I’m still finding it in little nooks & crannies so even if I had pulled out it was probably still game over bro. That man jelly had an all access pass… unsecured loads are dangerous. Make sure yous listen to the Freeway Signs”
Keen to never hear about the volume or ballisitcs of Dominik’s man explosion again we asked his new misso, Shardeey how she felt about the accident. She told us,
“There was some on the ceiling! I told Dom, you’ve gotta be careful with such a dangerous load. That’s always the way though ay, they think they’ve done enough to secure it but then boom you have a kid with another loser you don’t particularly like”
A spokesperson for the WA Government said they understood that some might take the sign to be in relation to securing trailer and tray loads.
Which is “understandable” but conceded that WA drivers were a “lost cause” and their attentions were better suited to stopping the reproduction of future individuals who will most definitely lose a full load on Tonkin Highway and whoever swipes right.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
