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Sunday, April 19, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Buddy Franklin Rejoins AFL For Easier Run Than Facing Gingin Boys Again

    Buddy Franklin has made the decision to rejoin the AFL as the thought of having to play against Gingin again vexes the legend. Strapping up…

    Belle April 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Perth Cactus to run in 2029 WA State Election after securing youth vote

    Westralia is in shock this morning after the infamous Perth Cactus announced it would be running for Government in the 2029 WA State Election. The…

    Belle April 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

     Joy in New Zealand as tinnie with Nation’s fuel supply let through Strait of Hormuz

    Cries of joy have been heard all through New Zealand after they received news that their national tinnie carrying their entire fuel supply was finally…

    Belle April 18, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Two Supertankers-a-Day Limit Imposed on Superpowers to Prevent Panic Buying After Strait of Hormuz Reopens

    Petro-nations in the middle-east have borrowed some inspiration from Australian retail and imposed a 2 supertanker-per-day limit on fuel as the Strait of Hormuz reopens…

    Belle April 18, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Tyre punctures plummet as rising building material costs force tradies to keep track of screws

    Tyre punctures across the entire country have plummeted thanks to the rising cost of building material amid the Iran war. In a rare win for…

    Belle April 17, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Cup Patrons Promise To Practice Social Distancing When Passing On Each Other Covered In Bodily Fluids

Belle December 27, 2021

Perth Cup revellers are taking their COVID safe obligations seriously after finding out their day at the races will go ahead for vaxxed punters despite…

View More Perth Cup Patrons Promise To Practice Social Distancing When Passing On Each Other Covered In Bodily Fluids
Featured WA Culture & Notable Events

Mr ‘Why Haven’t My Bins Been Emptied???’

Belle December 27, 2021

For decades, Ron has maintained relative peace with his Council overlords based on the understanding they pick up his shit on the designated day and…

View More Mr ‘Why Haven’t My Bins Been Emptied???’
WA Culture & Notable Events Featured

Mr Perth Heatwave

Belle December 26, 2021 tradieWeather

Daryl is an unflushed toilet bowl of a man: full of shit and stained with the unpalatable skiddie of one-upmanship. The recent heat has sent…

View More Mr Perth Heatwave
Reckons Featured

So, You’re Becoming a Face Mask Entrepreneur?

Belle December 23, 2021

News of restrictions hit people differently. Some are compelled to descend upon their local shopping centres like itchy-arsed zombies seeking 180 rolls of toilet paper.…

View More So, You’re Becoming a Face Mask Entrepreneur?
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Family’s Pipin’ Hot Roast Lunch Tradition Lives On Despite 42 Degree X-Mas Forecast

Belle December 22, 2021 WA Culture

No changes will be made to the Stirling family’s X-Mas menu despite the spicy temperatures expected on the day. When hell has opened up and…

View More Perth Family’s Pipin’ Hot Roast Lunch Tradition Lives On Despite 42 Degree X-Mas Forecast
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Gym Bro Microdosing Long Lost Tub of Original Jack3d

Belle December 21, 2021 Gym

“It’s what Joe Rogan would want me to do”, Anthony says as he carefully measures out 0.25g of Jack3d into his obnoxiously oversized protein shaker…

View More Perth Gym Bro Microdosing Long Lost Tub of Original Jack3d

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Buddy Franklin Rejoins AFL For Easier Run Than Facing Gingin Boys Again
  • Perth Cactus to run in 2029 WA State Election after securing youth vote
  •  Joy in New Zealand as tinnie with Nation’s fuel supply let through Strait of Hormuz
  • Two Supertankers-a-Day Limit Imposed on Superpowers to Prevent Panic Buying After Strait of Hormuz Reopens
  • Tyre punctures plummet as rising building material costs force tradies to keep track of screws
  • Trump ‘Not Happy’ With Western Australia Over Mandurah Forum Food Court Closure

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