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The Bell Tower Times

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Saturday, November 01, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Ms “I Blame My Bad Life Decisions on Star Signs”

Belle May 4, 2021 New Age

Laura loves astrology because it is infinitely easier to blame her shortcomings on burning balls of space gas, rather than her lack of commitment to…

View More Ms “I Blame My Bad Life Decisions on Star Signs”
WA Culture & Notable Events Unique & Other

The Perth Old Mate

Belle May 2, 2021 BoganPersonalityPub

Dazza is a purebred cob and has left the imprint of his King Gee stubbies on barstools from Meekatharra to Esperance. He has done every…

View More The Perth Old Mate
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Eliza

Belle May 1, 2021

Eliza is a 2.2m statue that was commissioned by the City of Perth to commemorate the Crawley Baths – back when bobbing around like bull…

View More IN FOCUS: Eliza
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: “Your Mate”

Belle May 1, 2021

Navigating the nuances of the word “mate” is a skill that every Australian acquires through years of dealing with a rich ecosystem of human garbage.…

View More IN FOCUS: “Your Mate”
Work & Study

Mr “Imma Lawyer!”

Belle April 30, 2021 professionalwanker

These days Australia has more lawyers than you’d find in O.J’s living room after receiving the consolation prize of an exquisite set of steak knives…

View More Mr “Imma Lawyer!”
WA Culture & Notable Events

Mrs Supermoon

Belle April 28, 2021

Doreen’s expectations for the pink Supermoon were sky high, so she loaded up the “didn’t pull out-mobile” and drove her family to the Rockingham Foreshore.…

View More Mrs Supermoon

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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