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Saturday, February 28, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    AI traffic camera suffers catastrophic meltdown trying to process first morning of WA long weekend

    A mobile AI traffic camera positioned on the Freeway heading southbound has crashed out under the sheer volume of how much vehicular fuckery it was…

    Belle February 28, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Authorities up the ante against Alcoa with sternly worded tree vandalism sign in Northern Jarrah Forest

    A joint taskforce into Alcoa’s tree cutting shitcuntery in the Northern Jarrah Forest has been launched between State and Federal environmental authorities. Fearing the $55…

    Belle February 27, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    City of Perth confident parking fee hike is a ‘non-issue’ thanks to Perth’s famous love of public transport

    It’s a move that some punters are sceptical about given the CBD has the humming hustle and bustle of Galleria most of the time. However,…

    Belle February 27, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Parents squirm awkwardly after kids ask them what Pinky’s was like back in their day

    A lovely day on Rottnest island turned awkward after a visit to the infamous Pinky’s Beach. It seems the parents were unable to hide their…

    Belle February 26, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Joondalup man reaches City faster on foot than drivers after surprise thunderstorm

    Kevin from Joondalup unceremoniously hurled his car keys into the bin this morning after looking at the window and witnessing a surprise thunderstorm. Why, one…

    Belle February 26, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA Under the Pump to Discover Fire Before it Can Power 2021 Grand Final

Belle August 26, 2021

Should Perth be given the all-clear to host the AFL Grand Final it will need to discover the ability to produce one of modern civilisations…

View More WA Under the Pump to Discover Fire Before it Can Power 2021 Grand Final
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter

Belle August 26, 2021

By 2006, Claremont could no longer handle the local arcade’s inability to accurately reflect their sense of self-worth. It, therefore, engaged the Hawaiian group and…

View More IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter
BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave

Belle August 25, 2021

AFL CEO, Gill confirmed that WA and its society of cave-dwelling, primordial soup-sippers will be the destination for the grand final if Melbourne continues to…

View More AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave
BREAKING NEWS Featured

New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident

Belle August 25, 2021

A woman towing a caravan yesterday decided that rather than calmly go through the checkpoint she would royally fark her shit up by trying to…

View More New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation

Belle August 24, 2021

Perth residents have been warned to start preparing for the inevitable assimilation of Perth with the micronation Ellenbrook as the Metronet project expects the traino…

View More Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

Belle August 22, 2021

Hillarys NIMBYs have had an absolute gutful of new homeowners having the audacity to move into their suburb and simply “do as they please” with…

View More Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

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TRENDING NEWS

  • AI traffic camera suffers catastrophic meltdown trying to process first morning of WA long weekend
  • Authorities up the ante against Alcoa with sternly worded tree vandalism sign in Northern Jarrah Forest
  • City of Perth confident parking fee hike is a ‘non-issue’ thanks to Perth’s famous love of public transport
  • Parents squirm awkwardly after kids ask them what Pinky’s was like back in their day
  • Joondalup man reaches City faster on foot than drivers after surprise thunderstorm
  • Brownlow shake-up as umpires to get access to Eddie McGuire’s thoughts before voting

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