It was touch & go for a Claremont resident today as the mercury dipped to 18 exposing her to almost certain hypothermia if she hadn’t acted immediately to wrap her body in her favourite North Face puffer.
Jess was halfway through lunching with her gals in Claremont when nature took a sinister turn. We spoke to her as she sipped coffee to stay warm in the face of this polar vortex,
“OMG the rain came out of nowhere and that’s when I felt the temperature drop. I was so scared, man. I was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I cried the entire time I was running to my car to get my jacket, thought my time was up”
One of her besties said was glad Jess was alright but was disappointed in her for not taking precautions,
“What is she thinking not bringing her puffer with her on a max 23-degree day? She kept saying the sun was going to come out and BOM was wrong all the time. I think I saw her lips turn blue”
A Perth survival expert told The Times,
“In any Perth autumn, we advise people to exercise extreme caution. Sometimes it rains and the mercury has been known to drop as low as 18 degrees. If you’re not prepared, that’s the kind of temperature that can get a Perth resident into strife”
A witness strolling through Claremont saw the vital moments Jess reached her Mini Cooper and extracted the survival wear from the front seat,
“I think it was almost 18.5 degrees by the time she got to her car and she goes and drops the keys! I thought, welp, that’s it sis but her guardian angel must’ve been looking out for her because she managed to get pick em up and get warm just in time. I reckon she had seconds to live”
Jess’ amazing survival story wasn’t the only miracle today. With Perth man, Brenton, overcoming the odds to wear his favourite pair of shorts to the pub. Despite the 18 degree tundra he faced.
Brenton told The Times,
“Boardies and uggs bruz, yewwww, I didn’t want to tempt fate and become a statistic but I also ain’t cleaned my Spaldings since last winter ahah. You got a tip to get um… stains out? Like bloke stains”
Just warm water and Napisan mate, just warm water and Napisan.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
