Dayson has been a low budget car enthusiast for most of his life but never truly felt like he fit into the car scene. His stock, high kms Lancer never came with all the bells & whistles and he never truly got the respect he thought he deserved at the lights.
To make matters worse, he never knew if he could give his 2.0L 2005 Lancer ES the full throttle treatment in fear of taking off into the atmosphere. He told The Times,
“You see a lot of ofLancers with spoilers and wings. They come standard on many models so I always wondered why mine didn’t. I didn’t want to end up alongside Elon’s car in space so I never really opened ‘er up”
That’s until Dayson came into a little money. He got up on a ridiculous multi and moved back into his step-dad’s loungeroom where he always has a stained futon to call his own.
What did he do with his newfound riches? Well, he scoured the depths of international discount car websites and bought himself a spoiler (and some JDM stickers to help sell the illusion).
After an install that could only be described as “ungraceful”, Dayson was finally able to run with the big dogs. He recounts the first cruise he took after adding the spoiler,
“0 – 100 in 12 seconds. I had to check that I didn’t get whiplash. For the first time in my life I’m feeling grounded and know where I want to be within the performance car scene”
Not only does he have the confidence to remain ground-borne but also is netting him a ton of extra looks on the road. He told The Times,
“Really drives people into a frenzy. You ever see something so badass, so cool that you just burst out laughing? Yeah, that’s what I get all the time. Girls especially crave it”
It’s true. We spoke to a girl who spends her Thursday nights hanging out in Maccas’ carparks. She told The Times,
“A lot of guys in the scene have their heads in the clouds. Bunch of Fast & Furious wannabe dreamers but Dayson really seemed to be down to earth. He had this new spoiler he bought off Wish or something. That’s the kind of baby daddy I’m looking for. Only 2 years until we can legally date though hehe”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
