In a shock move, the Perth Scorchers have announced their intention to form a political party and contest the 2025 WA state election.
Analysts are currently crunching the numbers but early reports suggest that the Scorcher Party could absolutely storm home in a landslide that would make Marko blush.
We spoke to an average Westralian citizen who said he was fully prepared to die for the Perth Scorchers, adding,
“Get scorched bruz! Love em. My wife loves them, my kids love them, between you and me I told the misso she could have a hall pass with all of them. At the same time if she wanted! As long as I could jack it in the corner”
Trying to get the image out of our head we asked the excited man’s wife if she would vote for them in the 2025 election. She told The Times,
“Yes. I forget we even have a state Government at least 4 times a day. Is there an opposition yet? I really don’t care, Scorchers are all we need in this life. I am definitely using those hall passes”
According to a political expert, WA’s feverish love of the Perth Scorchers is at levels rarely seen for a state gimmick sports competition. He added,
“I mean, it’s Big Bash, you’d have to forgive a purist like me from saying who cares but the answer is quite clear. WA cares. It cares a lot!”
In fact, in a survey of 10,000 people we found that 9 out of 10 Western Australians would vote for the Scorchers in the next election.
Quite amazing given their only current policies are “get scorched”, “a surge for every citizen” and “see ya in the furnace”.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
