Some beautiful late Autumn weather has further repressed Talia’s memory of last winter which by all accounts was a significantly more wintery winter than Perth was used to. Breaking a lot of hearts and even leading people to rejoice about a 19-degree day – one of Perth’s lowest points.
It seems the 24-degree stunner has further lulled Talia into an ever-deepening false sense of security that she’ll never stop parading around the foreshore in activewear and demanding Perth “get in her” on her story.
Talia was enjoying a light lunch while basking in the afternoon sun when she told The Times,
“Pumpkin feta salad, rays, blue sky, Perth is turning it on! It’s just got the best weather in any city in the world. How lucky are we?”
In an attempt to tether Talia to some form of reality, we asked how she was feeling about winter being around the corner. Given the events of Winter 2021. She told The Times,
“What do you mean? What winter?? Am I right? Ha ha, that’s the best thing about Perth, you can almost go to the beach in winter *winks delusionally*”
It confirmed her friends & family’s worst fears. Talia had entered a deep state of denial and repressed the painful memories of endless bleak, wet, cold days that a city only just managed to survive.
Talia’s mother was concerned that her daughter was living in a fairyland and that it’s likely we’re in for an actual winter again,
“Talia keeps asking us when we’re available for a Rotto holiday in July. Keeps saying the weather will be fantastic, it’s just a Perth winter. I think she has no recollection of physically breaking down at one point and screaming at her weather app in August”
Her father echoed the concerns,
“For over 3 months she was walking around the house with 3 pairs of leggings on, a stupid Patagonia jacket, and a beanie. It was very dramatic. She kept describing life as soviet?”
Talia, naturally, denies all these allegations. Maintaining a massive grin while she described how all her Melbourne friends are preparing for the great winter while she was just getting started on “hot girl winter”.
We understand that Talia’s parents have begun slowly introducing her to photos from last winter. Even leaving printouts of her many social media meltdowns over Perth experiencing an objectively shit winter.
Talia is not alone, with almost half the City going through a similar state of denial. Not long now though.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
