In scenes that wouldn’t look out of place on a beach in Normandy, the AFL is insisting the injury & COVID ravaged Eagles go through the match in Brisbane on Saturday.
To mitigate the potential for more players to be ruled out due to protocols, West Coast has put the mighty Karratha Mud Crabs on standby to fly to Brisbane and make WA proud.
A source close to the selection squad for the Eagles told The Times,
“The Mud Crabs were an obvious choice. Firstly, they are about as far away from Perth as you can get, so with any luck, those players will avoid the spicy cough before Saturday”
The selector went on to say that acclimation was also a factor in choosing the Mud Crabs over a more local team,
“We needed a squad used to playing in some dirty northern conditions. It’s gonna be absolutely pissing down – the game should’ve been postponed for shit weather let alone having almost an entire professional team out of action”
A smug Brisbane outfit has had their stupid grins wiped from the face with the news. It’s undeniable that the fancy AFL boys haven’t factored in getting a bit of K Town up them into their game plan.
Brisbane Lion’s coach Fagan was reportedly shook. With an insider telling The Times,
“He was prepared for Lynwood Ferndale, even ready to go head to head with the Rockingham Rams but looked noticeably worried when he heard some Pilbara boys were coming across to slot a few through the big sticks”
It is unclear whether or not the Mud Crabs will be flying over to Brisbane at this stage but we can report leave requests have been put in at surrounding mine camps.
Sources close to the regional league can confirm that the Broome Bulls are furious at being overlooked. With a spokesperson telling The Times,
“You think the Pilbara is isolated from Perth and has shit weather? Um hello? Sometimes you just feel like you are invisible to the State in the Kimberley”
Up the Mud Crabs.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?