Despite technically being located north of the Swan River, Leighton & Port Beach have officially been recognised as SOR beaches given their significance to the SOR people.
We spoke to the leader of the Council of Perth Classifications who said it was a controversial call but he said that it just made sense. Adding,
“Anyone who grew up in the inner South would know that Port or Leighton was the go-to. You could always go to South Beach but then you’d be fending off slackliners and van life influencer parasites with a stick. SOR needs a couple of marquee beaches and Port & Leighton are it”
The majority of NOR was happy for Leighton & Port to take the honorary SOR position given they wouldn’t venture that far south if they were paid to.
The only exception was the North Fremantle population who wished to distance themselves from the SOR Freo and establish themselves as an upcoming force and hopeful inductee into the Golden Triangle.
A spokesperson for North Freo told The Times,
“Do you have any idea how hard Mosman Park had to fight to get mentioned in the same breath as the GT? What do you think it will do to our chances if we start acknowledging Leighton as a SOR beach? Won’t someone think of North Freo!”
Obviously, anyone from Cottesloe up couldn’t care less. Already writing Port & Leighton Beach off as biohazards given how much SOR juice seeps into the sand & water.
Nevertheless, we spoke to a Bicton girl who said the inclusion of Port & Leighton as SOR beaches warmed her heart. Adding,
“Everyone who grew up around here knows they are SOR beaches, sometimes geography and indisputable facts are wrong. I consider Port to be the spiritual homeland of every SOR girl who got into Notre Dame”
There you have it. Well done Port & Leighton you are officially SOR.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
