Anyone who has been interviewed by a corporate gasbag knows that the “what’s your greatest weakness” question is one of the worst things you can be asked.
Job applicants typically respond to the twisted mind game by trying to spin an obvious strength into a weakness and sounding like a delusional sack of shit in the process. Well, no more.
A survey conducted on WA’s recruiting industry has revealed a surprising top answer. Employers just want you to admit that an open bar at the EOFY or X-Mas party is your biggest weakness. A recruiter told The Times,
“Like most interview questions, the greatest weakness question is about honesty. Sure, it’s also so these corporate dickheads can watch you squirm a bit but mostly it’s honesty”
4 in 5 Australians admit that the open bar is their Achilles heel. It’s a chance to both drink for free and simultaneously find the ability to tolerate workmates that you want to brutally set upon for breathing too loudly in the workplace.
We spoke to an HR manager of a large Perth office who told The Times,
“Applicants shouldn’t be worried about revealing their true selves. We give thousands of pisswrecks a go every year and we find that their bad behaviour at office parties is an excellent way to crowbar them into working harder for no increase in pay”
Indeed, the first time one loses themselves to the open bar, the upper management has ‘em just where they want ’em. The HR manager continued,
“See, in any meeting about a pay increase we can bring up their boozy carry-on and tell them that they still have a lot to prove in the eyes of management. No pay increase while also making them fear for their job so they work harder”
In fact, some recruiters told The Times that if you just fess up to being an open-bar-seeking-heat-missile you’re 75% more likely to get the job. Especially if the director is a bit of a pisshead himself. A source told us,
“It’s pretty much the ideal situation. A boss doesn’t have to pay you more because they can gaslight you into thinking you’re a piece of shit for enjoying yourself at an office do while also counting on your company on Friday arvo drinks. Win win”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
