Keir Starmer resigned from Prime Ministerial duties to start a new chapter of his life in Secret Harbour. Alas, if only it could’ve been that simple!
Instead of landing at Perth Airport to catch a $200 Uber to his new home, he was told that his flight was being diverted to Karratha for refuelling. Oh no!
We spoke to a local witness who said even from the tarmac he could hear posh whinging coming from insider the plane. Adding,
“Sir Starmer is having a ‘mare at the moment, first his party tells him to piss off and now he’s found himself in Karratha, hardly a place for a Knight!”
A source close to the PM told The Times that he is preparing for his new life in the Pilbara. Adding,
“Well, he’s got some free time now so he’s probably going to get a job on the moines, not sure how he’ll cope though, he is a bit polished for your average mine site wet mess”
For now though, Sir Keir is aboard the Dreamliner and is frantically researching the local dialect. Although, he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to call someone a “goodcunt” or advise a mate to “get a dog up em”.
Only time will tell.
RELATED: UK PM Sir Keir Starmer Resigns To Finally Pursue Lifelong Dream Of Living In Secret Harbour
Enjoying The Times? Consider chipping in some beer money to keep the lights on