The security light, the CCTV and the FB group – how a hose segment heist went wrong

On 29 July 2022, a group of teens hatched a plan to pinch a segment of hose from a property near the park they were loitering in. All were seasoned campaigners and the mission was one they’d nailed many times before. 

However, what the members of Ocean’s Bongleven didn’t know was that they were about to target a hose-owner who took home security a little more seriously. 

Reading from transcripts on the local FB group we can ascertain that at approximately 9:02 pm, the leader of the group approached the house stealthily with a pair of scissors. 

A witness who saw the entire FB name & shame go down told The Times,

“You could see on the video that as the teen approached he triggered the security light and completely shat himself. He was so rattled that he chopped a random bit of the hose, pretty much right in the middle and then tried to run off”

Alas, in his haste he tripped over an uneven bit of paving. This was critical in the investigation as the force of the fall knocked the hat obscuring much of his face off. That’s when the CCTV had him by the short & curlies. 

The name & shame video was posted online at approximately 8:45 am the next day. Time was running out for the thieves and they knew it was only a matter of time before he would be identified by a local parent. 

At approximately 9:36 pm, a mother of a boy who goes to the same school as the identified suspect dropped “OP” an inbox. She told The Times,

“Yeah, I knew the little shits. We all had a good laugh but cutting the middle of the hose was just a step too far. I inboxed OP the name of his parents and the jig was up”

The jig was indeed up, with the parents of the sloppy hose cutter sending him around to the house to apologise and offer free gardening labour services instead of paying for the hose.

We spoke to the teen who said if he had his time again he’d approach the heist differently. Adding,

“We should’ve stuck with old faithful but to be honest we felt guilty about raiding the same feller’s hose every other night. We didn’t do enough recon and I paid the price. 3 weekends of weeding while this dad laughs at me and sprays me with half his hose every couple of minutes”

Stay tuned for more accounts of true-ish crime in Western Australia.

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