Cambo still doesn’t know what came over him this morning when he made the biggest dietary change to his smoko routine in 35 years – opting to try the new Vegemite road chook rather than the traditional one.
His workmates were left in a state of shock when they caught up with Cambo down by the coleslaw section. With one of the young blokes attempting to make sense of the madness with a little joke. A witness told The Times,
“Yeah, this little tradie grom hands this old feller a tub of pasta salad and said why don’t ya have this with ya new fancy chook? It didn’t go down very well”
Indeed not, with Cambo grabbing the tradie by the throat and challenging him to explain what he meant by the pasta-salad jibe. Repeatedly telling the boy, “go on, what are you calling me? What ya trying say? Piss week little mutt”.
It was obvious Cambo was a bit emotional which was in no small part due to his radical departure from his usual smoko feed of 35 years. Settling down a bit, Cambo began mauling his chook. Building his first sandwich with his bare, unwashed hands. He told The Times,
“I like Vegemite and I like chicken. So I thought farrrrkkkk it. Get a dog up me and all that. I rang the misso to tell he and she got all excited that I was suddenly up for new things ha ha, nah luv, you’re still getting the standard Cambo service later tonight ha ha”
No one was permitted to talk to Cambo while he chewed suspiciously. Unsure whether he liked this new change or not. He was clearly struggling with it all.
A bloke who worked with Cambo for many years says the incident reminded him of when he offered Cambo a bit of his roast beef bag a few years ago. Telling The Times,
“He told me to get it out of his face or he’d take to me with a torque wrench. He eventually calmed down and took a bite. World didn’t end but I think Cambo struggled with the betrayal. He didn’t speak to me for about 2 years after. Said I led him down the road of temptation”
By the end of smoko, Cambo had finally come to peace with his decision and told the crew that tomorrow he’ll be going back to the normal chook. No more will be said about the matter unless you want to meet Cambo’s torque wrench.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?