Travellers to WA Must Prove They are Not Clive Palmer in Public Health Measure

In a measure to protect health of all Western Australians, anyone travelling into WA will need to prove they are not Clive Palmer to gain entry.

This requirement has come off the back of Palmer introducing yet another High Court Challenge to WA border policy.

It is unclear why Palmer starts so many veaxatious actions however one theory circulating is he has a costs order kink. Rule against him, daddy.

A source from with the Government told The Bell Tower Times,

“Look we’ve had a hard enough time from cane toads getting into WA, the last thing we need is another invasive pest from Queensland trying to ruin our way of life. Therefore anyone showing a 100% genetic match to Clive Palmer will need to stay in their own state”

COVID isn’t the only concern with one Victoria Park resident telling us,

“I was trying to enjoy a sunny Monday when I received a letter in the post. It was Palmer the Hutt on his anti-vaxx bullshit. Could someone cancel his postal privileges? Anyway, the doctor tells me my blood pressure is too high, I’m not sure I could handle seeing him slob around Perth, ay, that’d be me done”

Indeed, the very sight or smell of Clive Palmer is thought to be detrimental to Western Australians and could lead to adverse health effects.

Anyone found to BE Clive Palmer at the border will be immediately turned away at their own expense. Live stock transporters have been warned any attemp to smuggle in Mr Palmer will be dealt with harshly.

Proof of non-Palmership can include, DNA tests, finger prints, proof of a well tailored suit or by legally agreeing to pay any outstanding wages of workers involved in ones nickel operations.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?