Mandurah was recently named WA’s top tourism town. Some might say that’s obscene but when you scratch the surface you just want to keep scratching. Get down there now while there are still some Giants in one piece.
1. It has a scenic train ride there
What tourist doesn’t want to tick the likes of Warnbro, Kwinana, and Wellard off their sightseeing bingo cards? Well, a trip to Mandurah is so much more than the destination. Tourists can enjoy a journey through the Southern aggro belt in the safety of a train full of residents of said Southern aggro belt. You beauty. More on the Mandurah line HERE.
2. It has all the magic of Bunbury in half the time
Have you ever wanted to run a bath and chuck in a Bunburybomb and soak it all in but realise you couldn’t be farked driving 2ish hours? Well, Mandurah basically is Bunbury but closer. If that isn’t award-winning Tourism stuff then I don’t know what is.
3. Castle fun park
Does anything else need to be said? Getting to visit where the King & Queen of Mandurah used to reside should be a high priority for any tourist. Get there quickly! This Hepatitis Homestead won’t be around forever with development plans on the way. More on the fun park HERE
4. WA’s most famous road sign – Mandjoogoordap Drive
The golden rule of tourism is “when in Rome”, so why would you deprive yourself of fumbling your own ignorance as you attempt to pronounce a word that really just needs to be read phonetically? Voila! You are now getting the full Perth tourist experience. More on this HERE.
5. Rex Hunt’s mate rates it
This should be a no-brainer. Imagine sleepin’ on a town where Rex “thank ya mother for the rabbits” Hunt’s mate chose to set up shop in Port Bouvard. In fact, why don’t you go searching for him through the canals of spent millennial inheritance? What an amazing time for the whole family.
6. Mandurah Inlet looks like a giant pippy
Again, does anything else need to be said? You can tell a lot about a town by how seriously it takes its branding and the inlet looking like a massive pipe is so painfully on brand it deserves a standing ovation. It truly is the town that doesn’t sleep! Check it out HERE
7. Dinner and a show on Smart Street
Think back to when the ancient gladiators would entertain the crowds with their valiant displays of combat! Now imagine you’re stuck on Smart St Mandurah on a night out and can’t leave because you aren’t sure which way the brawl is going to move in. It’s practically the same thing! Pure theatre, so play on, great aggro bards of the south!
8. Mandurah forum – adventure shopping
Shopping can be so boring. Especially if you’re a rich tourist who has shopped at all the best spots in the world. In Mandurah, the experience is different. Every minute you are in Mandurah Forum you’ll be on edge. It’s a lawless place where anything is possible! Like the Narnia of shopping centres, if all the creatures wanted to headbutt you.
9. Catch crabs for days
Yummo from the canals to the flats to the nightclub toilets there are crabs to be caught in every corner of Mandurah. So scratch that seafood itch or completely shave the area depending on what you’ve netted!
10. Canal Xmas lights
If you visit in December you’ll get to see something very special. Stunning Xmas lights display on the boomer mansions in the canals. You won’t find a greater passive-aggressive, competitive neighbourly energy on a canal setting anywhere else in WA. Soak it in and reflect on the pettiness that drives these every more elaborate displays.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?