Joe was living his dream. He’d saved up a bit of coin and purchased his first second-hand Prado. He was finally part of the fourby fraternity – or so he thought.
To a casual observer, his Prado was indeed a LandCruiser. Said it right there on the side of the car. So you could forgive Joe for thinking he’d be accepted into the overly proud inner ring of LandCruiser floggers.
His first brush on the cruel canvas of unacceptance came when he posted in a WA 4WD group looking to see who was taking their rigs out over the Easter long weekend. He included a photo of himself posing next to his beloved Prado.
An 80 Series Diesel LC owner described the scenes to The Times,
“He posted it with this smug caption about wanting to join up with a crew so he could teach em a thing or two about flex & snatch. Then he posts a photo of a bloody Prado mate, he copped it pretty bad man”
A 100 Series diesel LC owner was a bit more passionate,
“If I could’ve crawled through the screen and put a dress on him I would’ve ha ha, bloke posts a photo of a girl’s fourby on the page and is asking if he could join real LandCruiser owners. I hate him, bro, I literally hate him for existing”
Joe doesn’t know where it all went wrong. His Cruiser looks pretty much like everyone else’s. It’s got a nice engine. He even had a brand-spankin’ Kings awning attached.
As the day progressed the shit he was copping became almost unbearable. Joe told The Times,
“Some guy kept setting up new Facebook accounts and sending me a photo of a tampon. I just wanted to meet fellow LandCruiser owners but was pretty much hounded out of the group. What’s wrong with a Prado??? I paid $70k!!!”
In a state of shock, Joe figured it was just some rogue internet group that had a hyper-masculine view of four-wheel driving. So he decided to go and meet some like-minded enthusiasts at Tim’s Thicket.
Alas, his amateur skills shone through and he managed to get himself bogged in a patch of soft sand. He can still hear the ringing in his ears from LandCruiser howler monkeys going berserk from the peanut gallery.
Joe told The Times, “I honestly thought I was going to get attacked. This guy was in my face asking me why I didn’t let the air out of my blouse-mobile’s tyres. He then chucked a slash right on the passenger door. Said it was all a Prado was useful for”
We understand Joe is in the process of trying to swap his Prado in for a Ranger. Stating, “I’m just filled with rage now. They wanted a monster so they are going to get a monster”.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
