WA Man Would Sooner Bring The Cattle Industry To Its Knees Than Chuck Away Thongs

WA man and regular Bali holiday goer Darrel reckons the estimated $80 billion dollar hit that foot & mouth disease could cause the Australian agricultural industry was just a risk he’d have to take.

See, it has taken Darrel 2 years to get the groove in his Surfer Joe’s just right and he looks at the pair like they were his own children. He told The Times,

“Someone says, chuck ya kids in the bin to prevent the risk of crushing one of Australia’s major industries. You gonna do that? Fark off ya would. You can pry these thongs out of my cold, dead hands, ya dog”

Darrel went on to rant about not really believing FMD was real and that farmers wanting you to bin your thongs was about compliance. Adding,

‘What’s next, tell us to wash our hands after taking a shit again? I put up with that malarkey for 2 weeks before I said nah, why should I? Just because someone tells me to?”

Slightly more diplomatically, Darrel said that even if this FMD bullshit was true that he reckons a farmer would probably understand. Adding,

“You telling me that a farmer doesn’t know the sacred bond between comfortable thongs and man? I reckon they’d understand. They’ve had a good run after all”

We asked Darrel if he’d consider using the proposed foot baths at customs. He looked angrier than when he was forced to consider binning his thongs. He told The Times,

“I didn’t even wash my feet for my own wedding mate. What chance do those dogs at the airport have of getting me to do something like that?”

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