WA Rushes to Set up Vaccine Clinic at Taco Bell to Take Advantage of Having Half of Perth Queued Up

WA Health is rushing to take advantage of the legions of Perth people who have nothing better to do than line up outside Taco Bell for their chance to be some of the first to buy uninspiring Tex Mex cuisine. 

It’s no secret WA is lagging behind national vaccination rates so when officials found out about this “major Perf queue” event they were heard saying, “well this is convenient”. 

To combat vaccine hesitancy, health officials will be offering a buy one get one free Crunchwrap Supreme with every jab. Speaking to The Bell Tower Times,

“We understand some are unsure about the efficacy of the vaccine but if you have to ask yourself if someone is willing to override their natural survival instincts and camp in Midland overnight to get a crunchwrap, what are they willing to do for a free one as well?”

WA Health was also pretty stoked with the idea given that many lining up to stuff their face with fast food were perhaps citizens who could benefit from a little additional health care. 

We spoke to a punter who had inexplicably stayed overnight in a camping chair outside the Midland store,

“I’m planning to get one of everything on the menu. It’s going to be a big day for ol Craigo. They got like corn chips inside of their shit – how exciting! As for the jab, yeah, nah, I’d never do anything to compromise the sanctity of my body, mate”

Craigo is obviously operating under the belief that a virus can only live as long as its host. So if COVID tries to take him out, he’s likely to take it out first with his solid diet of fast food. When it comes to Craigo’s toilet, it’s an all you can spray buffet. 

Mel who also had lined up since this morning was more open to the idea,

“Yeah, I’ll get a jab for a free taco, I’m not anti-vax or nothing. To be honest, I just couldn’t be arsed from lining up for hours to get a jab. Heard stories that people had to wait 2 hours and I’ve got better things to do”

It is worth noting that Mel has been waiting in the Taco Bell queue for 4 hours this morning.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?