Adult man born on the 29th Feb looking forward to celebrating his 6th birthday

It’s a long time between drinks for freaks unlucky enough to be born on a leap day however after a gruelling 4 year wait, Ben is prepared to turn 6 (or 24 in human years).

We spoke to Ben who said missing out on yearly birthdays really made him a bitter and angry person. He added,

“I’m not what you’d call the festive type. All my brothers and sisters get cake and pressies each year and I get reminded that I am an abomination, an affront to the laws of nature and should try not being so fkn unlucky”

This was confirmed by his mates who say that Ben is like a fish out of water when he celebrates a birthday. Instead of blowing candles out he tries to hump the cake. It’s this sort of uncouth celebratory carry on that makes Ben’s parties quite hard to stomach.

Ben’s folks couldn’t be happier with the arrangement, however. Despite having raised a leap-freak they say they’ve saved loads on gifts. Adding,

“We used to tell Ben that we give him 4 years of presents on his birthday. Shows you the average intelligence of a leap-mutant, doesn’t it? If he thinks a second-hand bread maker and a scratchie is 4 years’ worth”

Nevertheless, Ben is doing his best to remember how to celebrate a birthday because it’ll be upon him in 4 short days. He told The Times,

“While everyone else calls me a weirdo I like to call myself the Olympic baby. It helps me feel like a champion rather than some loser who doesn’t know the joy of an annual birthday celebration. When you’re born in a leap year you need to figure out what works, man”

Good luck to you Ben and well done on keeping your spirits up all these years.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?