An eerie silence has fallen over the Perth suburb of Scarborough as the strong Brazilian population comes to grips with the World Cup favourites getting spanked cherry red in a penalty shootout by the Croatians. It’s safe to say that Scabs isn’t feeling like the spiritual homeland of the Brazilian migrant right now.
Residents in the coastal suburb reported a distinct lack of slacklining, fire-twirling, and skimboarding today as the strong Brazilian residents can’t muster up the motivation to put on even the most basic public display of Capoeira. We spoke to a Scabs resident who told The Times,
“It’s a pretty sad scene. Normally by this time, we’d see at least a hundred Brazilian hunks wowing Aussie girls as they made their way down to the beach. Could barely spot one today just a bunch of raging turbos who badly need to go to bed”
Similarly, a local beach pest and pocket billiards enthusiast said he enjoyed walking down to Scarborough Beach on Saturday mornings to catch a glimpse of the Brazilian ladies in those bikinis he is so fond of. Adding,
“If only the Brazilian soccer team took as much pride in their game as these lovely ladies do in their glutes. Please don’t tell me wife where I go every Saturday morning”
It was touch and go for the Brazil team as Neymar gave them some late-game hope. By all reports, Scabs was a few minutes away from a full Carnival breaking out. Alas, Croatia had other plans. We spoke to surfer José who couldn’t even muster up the motivation to whip his shirt off,
“Life has no meaning. Brazil is the best football team in the world and my heart is filled with sorrow, not samba. I can’t even show my bleached hair today. I’m thinking of shaving it off. Forgive me Neymar”
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