Qantas CEO Vanessa Hudson has personally reached out to Optus CEO Kelly Bayer Rosmarin to thank her for an epic bedshit that has taken some of the attention off her own company’s horrendous operations.
To fully convey her appreciation, Hudson even sent Bayer Rosmarin a gift basket containing various items from the unclaimed baggage area. Including, no doubt, one of your iPads and some Bintang singlets that Qantas told you had probably been sent to Coober Pedy.
A source from within Qantas told The Times that there was a real “party” atmosphere in the office today. Adding,
“When I came into the office Alan Joyce was there popping vintage champagne bottles that he actually dipped into his own bonus to pay for. It was a real vibe, Hudson was dancing the Gangnam style and one male board member had his shirt off, you have to understand this was at 8 am”
The insider also told The Times that in a joint art project between Joyce and Hudson they had put up a sheet of paper that said “Days since Qantas was Australia’s most hated company” with a proud 1 in the box next to it.
While the gesture was appreciated at the Optus camp the mood at those offices was decidedly less jovial. A source told The Times,
“Between you and me, I don’t think we really bounced back from our hacking snafu. I don’t reckon we are in the hearts & minds of the Aussie public so for this to happen so soon and for our CEO to decide to tell aggrieved customers to jump in a lake, I fear we may not be at the top of anyone’s dance card any time soon”
Indeed, the CEO’s call not to compensate customers will not be a popular one and should see Optus sink to the same popularity level of a Xmas yeast infection.
Time will tell if Optus decides to tell us what really happened although several theories have been circulating. With the most likely cause being a dodgy Linkin Park file downloaded onto the mainframe.
RELATED: Optus has identified the source of the outage as a suspicious Linkin Park file downloaded recently
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
