Optus has identified the source of the outage as a suspicious Linkin Park file downloaded recently

Optus has enthusiastically fronted the press this afternoon to deliver the news that they absolutely knew what happened and everyone can stop calling them a pack of morons.

A spokesperson for Optus told The Times that a data systems analyst was reviewing the central computers and found a file downloaded that could explain everything, adding,

“It appears someone fired up that new terrible version of Limewire and felt like some nostalgic tunes. Somehow they found one of the remaining copies of LinKiN.pArk-NuMb.exe floating around the internet. Impressive really”

As soon as the file was downloaded things turned chaotic for the telecommunications company. With the system completely shitting itself. As a result, millions of customers were left without phone & internet services for the better part of half a day.

We spoke to a systems expert who told The Times that it was quite an antiquated system and as such was still highly vulnerable to the PC-killer of yesteryear. Adding,

“You’d be surprised but the home PC you had back in 2001 is pretty much the same technology they are using at Optus. I mean, a kid hacked them last year, if you remember?”

It comes as no surprise to many. Especially those who experience Optus’ blackspots every day. We spoke to an affected customer who told The Times,

RELATED: Optus asks whichever child hacked their system this time to kindly knock it off

“I had a representative of the company call me and assure me that they were very much at the cutting edge of telecommunications and as such I was entitled to some fresh crazy frog ringtones and a novelty answering machine message. Sweet!”

Full coverage is yet to resume with reception returning to some areas.

RELATED: Perth Hill Dweller not sure if it’s an Optus Outage or a regular Wednesday morning

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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