Western Australia is set to be the first State in Australia to do away with driver education altogether based on decades of empirical evidence that it doesn’t matter what you fkn teach a WA driver, they’ll just do what they want anyway.
Under the proposed system, WA driver’s licences will be distributed through cereal boxes with no obligation on the licence holder to show any sort of aptitude. The move is expected to save the State a small fortune. A spokesperson for the WA Government told The Times,
“We’ve got to the point where learner drivers can’t even book a test. Parents are calling on the Government to do something and we are listening. Ultimately, we are sick of funding driver education when every single day on the road some shitfabrains knucklehead performs baffling acts of vehicular cuntery. Why bother?”
One of WA’s most experienced driver instructors concedes the move has merit. He held back tears as he told The Times,
“I give people a step-by-step, fail-proof method to reverse parallel park. Do you know how many people I see execute this manoeuvre with any aptitude in real life? Maybe 2 people a year and they have park assist. I have come to the realisation I’ve wasted my life”
We spoke to a fed-up mother who had been trying to book her 18-year-old parasite a test for months. She welcomed the change,
“I think it’s a realistic approach to licencing. His father passed a driving test and he still drives like a complete dropkick. In fact, I don’t think I know a single person who has passed a driving test and knows how to merge. Let’s dedicate the funds to the health system”
WA drivers will still need to display L-plates and P-plates for a period however that will mostly be to alert dual cab drivers on the presence of a potential leer-target. At the end of the P plate period drivers will simply need to navigate Bunbury Farmers Market to progress to an unrestricted licence.