Summer ending fills Perth man with dread over how he’ll survive the next 9 months of predominantly sunny, pleasant weather 

A Perth man has been dealing with an existential crisis today as he prepares for the last day of summer tomorrow. He is overwhelmed with dread at how he’ll possibly be able to survive the other seasons in WA. 

Pacing up and down his working-from-home-office in a pair of shorts and pluggers, Alex takes a soothing swig of a working-from-home-froff to calm his nerves before telling The Times,

“I’m worried I won’t make it to next December. How am I meant to live life to the max when most days are about 22 and sunny? How will I survive the 2 weeks of actual winter we normally get? Explain that to me, champion? March is all I have left. You can always rely on March”

Alex isn’t alone in his fears. His neighbour can also be heard howling at the season-Gods at how they can be so petty and cruel. He told The Times,

“This summer was a cracker. Tons of lovely hot days and none of those stinkers. Man, As soon as it drops under 25 I think I might be toast. I don’t own any long pants. My leavers hoody has seen better days. This might be the end”

BoM has warned Perth residents to plan for the best and expect the worst. Advising that some of those pleasant, sunny days may have chilly mornings. Some of you may even need to remember how to defog a windscreen. A spokesperson added,

“We understand this is a tough time in a Perth resident’s life but we ask you to be strong and review the annual temperatures. Perth really doesn’t have it that bad and you’ll have plenty of beer-gardenable days. Trust us”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?