Bob is currently in deep denial about the efficacy of his evaporative air conditioner as it battles to cool his double brick home in the sweltering Perth humidity.
As he slowly morphs into a dripping lump of delusion he blurted out these choice words,
“Perth has a DRY HEAT. It’s always dry in Perth – no exceptions. This air conditioner isn’t shit there must be something caught in the vent or something. Perfect air conditioning solution for DRY HEAT”
Bob leaves a trail of sweat behind him like a deodorant dodging snail, getting noticeably frustrated when a sheet of paper sticks to his arm when he leaned on a bench.
He is currently working from home after getting into a heated argument with a coworker who mentioned the new refrigerative unit he installed in his lounge room.
Bob allegedly got in the man’s face demanding to know why you wouldn’t go with evaporative on account of Perth’s heat being drier than Jenny listening to ScoMo play Ginuwine’s Pony on the ukulele.
Coworker, Steve, witnessed the fracas and told The Bell Tower Times,
“Any mention of humidity really sets him off. He’s proud as punch for saving a few bucks on his air conditioning and won’t hear a bad word said about it. All his work shirts stink like shit because he’s sweating buckets just eating brekkie this week”
Now sweating like Clive Palmer taking a shit, Bob launched into an unsolicited tirade. He told us,
“I worked for 5 years up in Karratha now that’s humid you little pissworm. It’s actually funny how little moisture is in the air lately, absolutely none. You think you refrigerative fuckdogs are better than me?”
He lifted his arms in rage to reveal the substitute teacher special pooling in each armpit. He continued,
“Double brick, evaporative and the Freo Doctor that’s all you need in Perth. I’ve been keeping my family cool as the Fonz for decades. Shove that Tubby Taylor Fujitsu air shit up your arse!”
Evidently, Bob is a little cranky from the humidity. It’s OK Bob, your aircon is a great solution most of the year.
He left the room screaming, “365 days of the year!” before punching a hole in his study door. Have a cold shower, Bob.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
