Joycey Asks Taxpayers To Dig Extra Deep For His Juicy Bonus This Year

CEO of Qantas has thanked taxpayers for bailing out his company so he could continue to make eye-watering sums of money off the backs of desperate customers and those his airline considered to be not overly attached to their baggage. 

Over the pandemic, Qantas pocketed an impressive $2.35B in Government bailout money. With absolutely no obligation to pay any of it back. So what is Joycey’s message for Australians now?

Well, he wants you all to just dig a little deeper to make sure he can beat last year’s sum of $3.3M in bonus. A source close to the airline told The Times,

“Qantas hardly thinks it’s fair that we dip into our own $1B profit to dish out bonuses. So we will once again be asking the Australian taxpayer to find it in their hearts to give a struggling millionaire the pat on the back he so sorely doesn’t deserve”

How to collect the funds is still in dispute. Some within the airline believe they should just jack up the fares a little. Others believe they should badger the PM. However, Joycey has an idea of his own. A source close to him told The Times,

“Joycey wants security to physically shakedown customers at the airport. Grab their wallet and pull out whatever the airline deems they can afford. Pretty old school but effective way to do it. He reckons he can get around $5M in no time. A pretty nice bonus, you’ll agree?”

Customers will be asked to present their wallets or be tackled to the ground and have theirs forcibly removed from them before boarding. Once again, thank you to all Australian taxpayers who could make this bonus possible. 

RELATED: Joycey Credits Trashing Airline’s Entire Reputation For Half Year $1 Billion Profit

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