“Locals Only” – Kid Who Moved To Dunsbourgh 2 Years Ago Defends His Beach

Only 2 years ago, Kai (real name Kyle) was the exact type of blow-in kook scum that he now vows to harass out of his local beach break. 

Referring to himself as a DunsBRA Boy, Kai has developed an obnoxious reputation for leaving notes stating “LOCALS ONLY” on cars he suspects are from Perth parked in popular beach car parks. 

To really show he lives the outlaw life, he also goes as far as to deface public roads with a white piece of chalk with the same ominous message to the hordes of Perth tourists that visit Dunsborough each year. 

He told The Bell Tower Times,

“Beach is life and the beach belongs to the locals bra. Can’t have Perth kooks stealing all our waves. DunsBRA Boys for life”

It is unclear where this little rich turd from City Beach got the audacity to embrace localism so fiercely just 2 years into his relocation however all signs point to the parents. 

Kai’s folks made the seachange as people with too much money tend to do in mid-2019. Similarly, after copping the 6281 postcode, they jumped balls-deep into the local anti-Perth tourist sentiment. 

Spending every school holiday period ruthlessly naming & shaming Perth tourists for doing the exact type of Prado-related bullshit they were very guilty of for 35 years of their own life. 

A well seasoned Dunsborough surfer who has surfed the break for 40 years told The Bell Tower Times,

“These little groms are idiots, bro. If they think they are any more welcome than the other Perth blowins they are mistaken. Dunno about all this DunsBRA boys thing, they usually start biffo in the surf and then run home to daddy when it escalates back on shore”

We managed to speak to a tourist who found a note under a bag of dogshit on his windscreen after taking his kids for a surf,

“It was pretty obvious who did it, this little preppy kid and his mates were sitting nearby laughing. I threw the bag right back at them and he started screeching he was going to get his dad to sue me, was like a scene straight from Maroubra”

Unequivocal proof that this band of surfing bandits has the beachside community living in fear. Will any tourist have the cojones to surf his break after the tales of his toughcunnery circulate? 

That remains to be seen. We have chosen not to name the beach out of genuine fears of gang repraisal from this group of ruffians.

For more on Kai’s Perth cousin: The Perth Surfer

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