After sweltering through a spicy night, Midland girl Teegarn has decided to take matters into her own hands and seek out a hunky airconditioner to spend the night with.
She matched with a number of potentials who were going about impressing her all wrong. She told The Times,
“I told them, don’t send me photos of your pork recorder or the biggest fish you’ve caught, let me get a look at that thicc, juicy air conditioner you have mounted to your wall. As you can expect, I got a lot of duds”
Indeed, we spoke to one match who sent through photos of his ducted air conditioning vents and a bonus pick of his fat swamp box. He told The Times,
“Instant unmatch. I told her I had the hardware to satisfy her all night but after realising I was rocking evap she sent through a vomit emoji and was gone”
Another potential suitor tested his luck by sending through a photo of his reverse cycle airconditioner. It was all going well until Teegarn suspected she was being air-conned. She told The Times,
“It was a close up photo so I was pretty suss. I told him to show me it in the context of the room and he was trying to pass off the lounge room unit as his own! Like I’m going to sleep in the same room as all his sweltering housemates. Some people!”
After a lot of disappointment, Teegarn settled for a Stratton FIFO bloke who prided himself on rocking reverse cycle in every room of his house.
Of course, the date did come with some stipulations which he said he wasn’t stoked about but was willing to adhere to. Adding,
“She said she had an aircon-kink and all she wanted me to do tonight was sit on the other side of the room slowly oscillating for her”
You gotta do what you gotta do!
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
