The great Perf storm has apologised for being up and about a bit early this morning but maintains it only had good intentions to ensure everyone didn’t sleep through their alarms.
Conceding that midnight was “perhaps” a little early to wake everyone up the Perth storm is satisfied that it was successful in its mission. With countless stories of gale-forced-insomnia throughout the city.
A spokesperson for the storm told The Times,
“The Perth storm feels somewhat responsible for hitting you with several once in a millennia cold fronts in a single week. It knows it can be tempting to snuggle up in bed when that alarm goes off, so it provided a little noise to ensure that didn’t happen”
While plenty have complained about the noise, a local F45’er thanked the Perth storm of getting them up even earlier than normal, adding,
“If you think a 5 am workout selfie is smug you should see how inspiring a 1:30 am workout selfie is. Thanks, Perth storm”
Sources close to the storm say that while it chose to be the “bigger storm” and apologised it was a little shocked to hear the complaining. Adding,
“Oh, so suddenly Perth is all about its sleep is it? That’s not what the constant wastewater analysis tells us. What national title did we win again? Blaming me for not getting any shuteye, what a gee up”
Naturally, the media has attempted to paint the storm as some kind of monster. Uprooting trees, taking out power grids and sending trampolines flying into the night. A label the storm denies,
“Don’t blame the Perth storm for the city’s shit infrastructure. You’d think a city that cops that many once in a lifetime weather events a week would be prepared for one”
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