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Tuesday, September 01, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Giant red bin erected in Secret Harbour to commemorate by-election win

    Secret Harbour is waking up to the dawn of a new age. Not only did they vote to leave the EU but they have now…

    Belle August 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

    Jetstar outdoes South African plane’s dangerously close flyover stunt by getting dangerously close to not cancelling a flight

    Rugby fans were left amazed and in need of new grundies after two Airlink planes performed a dangerously close flyover of DHL Stadium in Cape…

    Belle August 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Secret Harbour set to leave the EU after One Nation victory

    The first order of business for British outpost Secret Harbour is to break the shackles of what they feel is a bad deal as a…

    Belle August 30, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    AFL scraps Wildcard Round effective immediately after Collingwood fail to make finals

    The AFL has announced that in hindsight it had wasted its and everyone else’s time with this wildcard malarkey after it failed to get Collingwood…

    Belle August 29, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Donald Trump hits hole-in-one on the 12th at The Cut in Dawesville

    Some say it’s nearly impossible to ace the 12th at The Cut against the howling Mandurah breeze but US President Donald Trump proved the haters…

    Belle August 28, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Local Lycra Warrior Has an Unsettling Twinkle in His Eye After Perth’s Jai Hindley Takes Out Tour de France Stage

Belle July 6, 2023

Local Lycra warrior and 3 abreast specialist Tony has sprung out of bed. Still charging from watching Perth boy Jai Hindley break away in the…

View More Local Lycra Warrior Has an Unsettling Twinkle in His Eye After Perth’s Jai Hindley Takes Out Tour de France Stage
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

New Study Reveals Spud King’s Body Hair Surpasses Arctic Wear in Warming Efficiency

Belle July 5, 2023

Australian consumers could soon be wearing a Galati-leg-hair-Gilet or a full body hair sleeping bag after a groundbreaking study has revealed that the spud king’s…

View More New Study Reveals Spud King’s Body Hair Surpasses Arctic Wear in Warming Efficiency
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Art Attack Reboot Planned Where Neil Smashes Piss While Painting To Appeal To Millennial Audience

Belle July 5, 2023

Finally! Art Attack is coming back to the screens in a modern re-envisioning where Neil will spend most of the episode getting pissed as he…

View More Art Attack Reboot Planned Where Neil Smashes Piss While Painting To Appeal To Millennial Audience
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

BREAKING: The Thames Now 100% Salt Water After Flood Of English Tears

Belle July 4, 2023

The mighty Thames has been reclassified from brackish water to a 100% pure marine environment after the weekend saw countless gigalitres of English tears flow…

View More BREAKING: The Thames Now 100% Salt Water After Flood Of English Tears
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

How to get the most tax back from those ATO dogs

Belle July 4, 2023

G’day Keifo here. Not surprisingly, I deal with dumb dogs every day and it has become my mission to replace the shit between your ears…

View More How to get the most tax back from those ATO dogs
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

English coworker lashes “Aussie spirit” after leaving meeting early and missing out on pastries 

Belle July 3, 2023

“It’s just not cricket, mate”, office pombag Greg mused as he reflected on all the flakey delights he forfeited when he decided to chuck a wobbly…

View More English coworker lashes “Aussie spirit” after leaving meeting early and missing out on pastries 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Giant red bin erected in Secret Harbour to commemorate by-election win
  • Jetstar outdoes South African plane’s dangerously close flyover stunt by getting dangerously close to not cancelling a flight
  • Secret Harbour set to leave the EU after One Nation victory
  • AFL scraps Wildcard Round effective immediately after Collingwood fail to make finals
  • Donald Trump hits hole-in-one on the 12th at The Cut in Dawesville
  • AFL Requires proof of 10 Years of Social Media Meltdowns to Buy Flagmantle finals tickets

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