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Thursday, January 15, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Australian citizenship to be revoked for anyone calling their ute a ‘truck’

    The Australian Government has announced a strict anti-seppo law that aims to reverse the cultural rot rapidly creeping into our great Nation. Under the new…

    Belle January 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Trump announces plans to Greenland Rottnest Island next 

    Donald Trump has taken to his weird Truth Social platform to announce he will be taking control of Rottnest Island off the coast of WA.…

    Belle January 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Ex US Ambassador Kevin Rudd handed AUKUS role in hopes America cancels that too

    The Australian Government may have found a convenient way to back out of the atrocious AUKUS deal that a former PM inflicted upon our great…

    Belle January 13, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    England starts drinking now in preparation for 2027 Ashes 

    The English Cricket Team have sent a powerful message to its haters by starting their vigorous preparation for the 2027 Ashes right now. As reported…

    Belle January 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

    The 10 Best WA Beaches To Teach Your Kids Important Life Lessons 

    WA is known for two things – shithot beaches and being a wonderful place to raise a family. So why not combine the two and…

    Belle January 11, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Backtrack on Cancelling Grand Final Parade After Seeing NORTHBRIDGE Sign

Belle September 7, 2021

Perth was shocked to hear that the AFL had ruled against staging a Grand Final parade in Perth due to terminal butthurt-itis, “terrorism” concerns, and…

View More AFL Backtrack on Cancelling Grand Final Parade After Seeing NORTHBRIDGE Sign
scarborough beach perth
BREAKING NEWS Featured

30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet

Belle September 7, 2021

Despite 6 months of neglect, local man Kyle inexplicably reckoned his rig was ready for the big stage at Scarborough today. How wrong he was. …

View More 30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)

Belle September 6, 2021

If you’ve ever been walking down the street and suddenly get hit in the nostrils by a strong stank of baby-batter you could be forgiven…

View More IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)
BREAKING NEWS Featured

REPORT: Dôme Café Really Likes the Look of that Waterside Location in Your Suburb

Belle September 4, 2021

Yesterday, we received a report that a Dôme Café location scout was seen licking his lips, rubbing his hands together, and announcing that he wanted…

View More REPORT: Dôme Café Really Likes the Look of that Waterside Location in Your Suburb
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Beer Taps to be Attached to Urinals to Honour CUB Contract at Perth Grand Final

Belle September 2, 2021

Gage Roads won’t be supplying the 2021 Grand Final with beer after being shafted by the cruel strap-on of competing contractual relationships.  Although it’s arguable…

View More Beer Taps to be Attached to Urinals to Honour CUB Contract at Perth Grand Final
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Eddie to Miss 3 Weeks with Debilitating Bruised Ego After Being Denied Entry to WA

Belle September 1, 2021

Eddie McGuire is in intensive care following a brutal dose of reality that he wasn’t above the rest of the population when it came to…

View More Eddie to Miss 3 Weeks with Debilitating Bruised Ego After Being Denied Entry to WA

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Australian citizenship to be revoked for anyone calling their ute a ‘truck’
  • Trump announces plans to Greenland Rottnest Island next 
  • Ex US Ambassador Kevin Rudd handed AUKUS role in hopes America cancels that too
  • England starts drinking now in preparation for 2027 Ashes 
  • The 10 Best WA Beaches To Teach Your Kids Important Life Lessons 
  • Mining giants Rio Tinto & Glencore consider merger to create the world’s longest online induction 

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