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Sunday, January 04, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Down South begs Perth family to stay after being reminded they’d be nothing without their tourist dollars

    The entirety of Down South have made an impassioned plea to a Perth family to remain in the region after being reminded today that they…

    Belle January 4, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    New Perth Cafe seeks to capture the boomer market by offering water straight from the hose

    A new café opening in Perth has thrown down the gauntlet to Dôme by announcing an aggressive play to capture the boomer market from them. Not…

    Belle January 4, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Cottesloe man insists Rotto isn’t elitist after spotting someone from Nedlands 

    A Cottesloe man born into generational wealth has refuted claims Rottnest Island is some elitist getaway island.  He says that on his recent trip to…

    Belle January 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Gym bro resolves to hit the pub 3 times a week and become piss-fit in the new year after another weak silly season performance

    Thomas aka “Rig Brah” was forced to take a long hard look in the mirror after an eye-opening effort at his friend’s Xmas party last…

    Belle January 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Scarborough man summons half of Ireland after softly mentioning ‘a job on the mines’ while out

    Scabs man, Jase, has suffered the shock of a lifetime after managing to summon what appeared to be half of Ireland to his table after…

    Belle January 2, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA Under the Pump to Discover Fire Before it Can Power 2021 Grand Final

Belle August 26, 2021

Should Perth be given the all-clear to host the AFL Grand Final it will need to discover the ability to produce one of modern civilisations…

View More WA Under the Pump to Discover Fire Before it Can Power 2021 Grand Final
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter

Belle August 26, 2021

By 2006, Claremont could no longer handle the local arcade’s inability to accurately reflect their sense of self-worth. It, therefore, engaged the Hawaiian group and…

View More IN FOCUS: Claremont Quarter
BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave

Belle August 25, 2021

AFL CEO, Gill confirmed that WA and its society of cave-dwelling, primordial soup-sippers will be the destination for the grand final if Melbourne continues to…

View More AFL Confirm 2021 WILL Be the First Grand Final to be Played in a Cave
BREAKING NEWS Featured

New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident

Belle August 25, 2021

A woman towing a caravan yesterday decided that rather than calmly go through the checkpoint she would royally fark her shit up by trying to…

View More New Mad Max to be Filmed in WA After “Convincing” Caravan Border Incident
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation

Belle August 24, 2021

Perth residents have been warned to start preparing for the inevitable assimilation of Perth with the micronation Ellenbrook as the Metronet project expects the traino…

View More Perth Warned – Only 2 Years to Prepare for Ellenbrook Assimilation
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

Belle August 22, 2021

Hillarys NIMBYs have had an absolute gutful of new homeowners having the audacity to move into their suburb and simply “do as they please” with…

View More Hillarys Property Sales Now Conditional on Local NIMBY Approval

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Down South begs Perth family to stay after being reminded they’d be nothing without their tourist dollars
  • New Perth Cafe seeks to capture the boomer market by offering water straight from the hose
  • Cottesloe man insists Rotto isn’t elitist after spotting someone from Nedlands 
  • Gym bro resolves to hit the pub 3 times a week and become piss-fit in the new year after another weak silly season performance
  • Scarborough man summons half of Ireland after softly mentioning ‘a job on the mines’ while out
  • Man arrested at Elizabeth Quay last night for refusing to record gigabytes of fireworks footage no one will ever watch

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