Bianca isn’t at Crown’s Monet in Paris exhibition to romance arachnids. Do you see that beret thing on her head?
She’s there as an informal cultural guide and she has a very strong message for you uncultured swine – she’s actually been to Musée Marmottan Monet. So sit on her bohemian stick and swivel, pleb.
We spoke to Bianca while she was staring at a couple in disgust. She told The Times,
“Look at these idiots taking selfies like this projector exhibit means anything. Did you know I saw Monet’s work in Paris? I gazed upon the original La Barque and it brought tears to my eyes. What would these animals know about art?”
Bianca continued walking around like a farmer in a barn full of animals that had got into the fermented berries. She continued,
“A beautiful French man wrote me a poem while we reflected on Impression, soleil levant. He told me I was chaud comme un lever de soleil hehe”
We spared her the indignity of telling her the man had borrowed a few lines from Ketut but did ask her why she was even here if it was so beneath her.
She paused and brought up a FB photo album titled “Paris – my heart, I am in you”. Ignoring the question she proceeded to flick through her photos to prove she had attended the museum. Adding,
“Most people just go to the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower but I actually know a thing or two about art. Do you have any idea what it’s like to eat baguette in the Bois de Boulogne with cultured Europeans while talking about the beauty of Monet? I doubt it, you’re here at Crown watching lights on a wall!”
It appears that Bianca was suffering from a stage 5 wanker attack and was purely at the show to satisfy her ego.
This was quite apparent when she had a meltdown when she saw a pair of girls wearing activewear to the show. Yelling at the girls – “This isn’t Karrinyup you peasants! Be gone!”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
