Viagra Manufacturer Reaches Out To Qantas, Asks If It Needs Some Help “Staying Up”

Pfizer has reached out to Qantas after the airline recorded yet another flop. This time a flight had to return to Adelaide en route to Perth. Clearly, the airline is having some trouble going the distance. 

A spokesperson for Pfizer said the company had just what ailed Qantas – a little blue pill that will have them lasting the FULL duration and leaving its customers satisfied. They added,

“Qantas isn’t a great finisher and that’s where we can come in. We want the airline to soar through those skies without having to collapse into a pathetic, embarrassing mess at the airport they left just 5 minutes before”

We spoke to a recent passenger who said it was just what Qantas needed. Remarking,

“Typical big boy, talked a huge game and after some minor turbulence, it was all over! The only red, sweaty mess I was left in was on the phone to their customer service trying to get more than a $40 food & drink voucher! That’s like one champagne”

Typically, Alan Joyce has stated that there’s nothing wrong with his hardware and that under his leadership Qantas has been thrusting powerfully into the skies. Adding, 

“We all have our ruts and my planes just need to get their confidence back. Ya marn over there in the news is putting all this pressure on us and it isn’t helping. It’s like having to wear a franger when you’re drunk, to be sure”

RELATED: Qantas Offering “Jump In With The Baggage” Ticket For Passengers Who Actually Want To End Up Somewhere Different 

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