Seasoned campaigner making people feel a bit uncomfortable with his stories from The Clink back in the day 

An ageing uncle at a family do has predictably sucked back one too many bottles of sauce and in a desperate bid to hang on to his youth has regaled the youngins with stories from his days partying at iconic Freo nightspot The Clink. 

At 5:45 pm, Curtis not only began referring to himself in the 3rd person but also by his alleged nickname back in the day of “Digits”. He was slurping those Carlton Dry bottles like he owed them money and was absolutely stoked to have an audience. 

A 24-year-old niece witnessed the transformation. She told The Times,

“I don’t know what The Clink is but I’m not sure I ever want to hear about it again. He kept talking about dark nooks & crannies. He winked at me and said anything went for ol digits. I’m related by blood, man”

Indeed, Digits told the group how he tripled up in one night after a heavy session at Zanzibar. A witness to the highly embellished story told The Times,

“He said the American Sailors were in town and they didn’t have shit on him. It was confusing because he kept saying Digits. Anyway, he reckons he copped 3 roots at The Clink and got a Navy chump to buy all his drinks because he was so impressed with his salad-tossery technique. Sounded like bullshit if I’m honest. It was tough to hear”

Digits was seen trying to talk loud enough for that “decent sort” behind the bar to hear when he told The Times,

“I was the dude back then. Clink royalty. I was just a young buck but the cougars couldn’t get their claws in fast enough. Let’s just say I made the entire place stink”

Unsurprisingly, everyone at grandma’s 80th has moved away from old Digits as they all eagerly await the cake to come out so they can go home and shower the memories away. 

RELATED READING: “Dinner and a show” – punters call for return of Hungry Jacks Freo to revitalise entertainment precinct 

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