Macka, a level 5 old mate and an honorary member of the WA League of True Blue Cobbers has told his son-in-law, Dan, where to go after being invited on a Rotto trip in a couple of weeks.
We have received reports that Dan hadn’t even finished getting all the words out before Macka slapped him down with his unique brand of Aussie abruptness. A witness told The Times,
“He said pig’s arse and told Dan there was no way he was getting on that boat. He then went on to explain that he doesn’t do overseas holidays and if he had his way he never would’ve had to leave Meekatharra in the 90s”
Macka’s daughter wasn’t surprised by the reaction given that Macka refuses to drink in any Perth pub that sells craft beer. She told The Times,
“He’s old school. Likes his beer in a red can and his holidays in Exmouth. Dan only made things worse when he assumed it was because dad was scared of boats. That’s not exactly why he won’t go overseas, if you catch my drift”
Macka overheard the interview and stormed in to give his side of the story. He’d finished a 10-minute rant about how he skippered a tinnie from Kalbarri to Broome single-handed when a cyclone hit. All the while death gripping the young buck’s hand to keep him from escaping. He added,
“I don’t go overseas because I’ve got everything I bloody want in Western Australia, sonny! Answer me this smartarse, what language do they speak in Rotto? What beer do they have? Will I have to bloody get a shot for monkey polo? Not worth the risk”
He then trailed off somewhat and blamed Aussie’s going overseas on everything that was wrong with WA. Adding,
“One day some bloke reckons he’ll go to France and the next there’s a female AFL competition. Do you know there is a bloody suburb called Waikiki in Perth? Me son went to London for a year and he came back with long bloody hair. Stil haven’t spoken to him since he got back and that was in 2001! Nup, not doing it, not going to Rotto”
You might call Macka a bit of a dinosaur but at least the man knows what he likes – 1 beer, Exmouth and men with short hair.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?