50 Cent concert at risk as rap star still stuck in the Swan Valley after Robbie Williams gig 

Few know the love Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson has for British pop artist Robbie Williams. Needless to say, the New York-born star wasn’t going to miss a chance to see him in the Swan Valley yesterday.

Alas, party buses are still trying to get out of the car park at Nikola Estate after “traffic management improvements” were implemented. Sadly, 50’s bus is included in the mess. A witness told The Times,

“Luckily 50 was completely knackered after singing all of Robbie’s songs all night. I don’t know if he’s awake yet so he might not realise he’s still stuck in the Swan Valley. His concert at RAC Arena starts at 8 pm, I’m not sure he’s going to make it!”

A spokesperson for the rap megastar told The Times that 50 was an industrious man and would find a way out of this predicament. Adding,

“Obviously, 50 has been shot 9 times so you’d think he could deal with a little Perth infrastructure. We are confident that our man will find a way out of this mess”

50 isn’t alone in the mess. With many revellers still attempting to head home themselves. We spoke to a cougar who was concerned she may have to go “Bear Grylls” soon to survive. Adding,

“I read reports on the news that the traffic was fine yesterday? Tell that to Yeti bottle full of piss that I am dreading having to drink. I have been stuck here since the concert ended. Please send help! And more Prosecco!”

If the car park congestion doesn’t start moving soon, the G-Unit may have to deploy a helicopter to extract their charismatic leader.

What a shemozzle.

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