Belinda was sending a very clear message on Sunday night to the neighbours she invited around to a BBQ when she brought out an original brand Vienetta after dinner.
That message was “suck my she-sack plebs because we are balling”. Belinda remains mostly tight-lipped on how she came into the money to splurge $8 on a dessert but did give away a little hint,
“I’ve worked hard and become one of the top sellers of essential oils in the area. My nan’s friend wasn’t sure she needed so many bottles but I changed her mind in the end”
Indeed she did. In fact, she boldly refused to leave the retirement village until the old bag coughed up the money she’d earmarked for her grandchild’s birthday.
That’s the ferocity you need to make it in the competitive world of essential oil sales. We digress.
We spoke to a guest at the BBQ who admitted she was blown away by the display of wealth, adding,
“Gee, we would’ve just brought out the 2L tub of Woolies brand ice cream that has hubby’s fingerprints all through it. You could tell they had just come into some money, they even had their pool topped up all the way”
One guest, however, took exception to the spectacle. Refusing to enjoy the nostalgic luxury item on principle. She told The Times,
‘We have a cost of living crisis and there’s a $4 Aldi version. We are simple people and it’s all well and good if Belinda and co think they are aristocrats now but I wasn’t going to have a bar of it! I mean a VIENETTA, in THIS ECONOMY?”
Everyone else got their snouts in the trough however and were a little disappointed the bougie treat didn’t live up to the nostalgic pedestal they had put it on. With one guest telling The Times,
“Why did we believe the marketing that this was some swish cake? I reckon I’d prefer a supermarket mud cake and some of that fingered ice cream old mate was talking about earlier”
Good question. No one knows.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
