Citywide shortage of capri pants as P!nk mums prepare to descend on Optus Stadium

If you were in the market for a brand-spankin’ pair of capri pants before the weekend’s P!nk show then you’d better look over east!

Retailers all over Perth have confirmed they have run out of the classic-Karen staple in the lead-up to P!nkmania gripping the City on Sunday.

We spoke to a women’s clothes retailer who said she’d already been able to put a downpayment on an outdoor Balinese setting due to the demand, adding,

“I don’t think you want to be seen at P!nk without some fresh capris on. It’s a hot look amongst the demographic and I’ve even had to break up several fights between customers over the last remaining pairs. It’s madness!”

Another retailer said she had to source boxes of pure capri pants through the black market to meet demand. She told The Times,

“Psst, Belle, you wanna buy some capri? Cash only these babies are too hot to leave a paper trail”

We wisely declined the offer. Knowing all too well the pack of waiting P!nk fans could turn savage at any moment once a drop of capri blood entered the waters.

Despite the tension in the warehouse, we were able to talk to a P!nk fan who had set up a GoFundMe after spilling an “extra hot, half shot, long mac topped up, half soy, half skim milk coffee” on her good white going-out capris. She told The Times,

“Time is running out and the dry cleaners have told me they are out of options. My dreams are on life support so any donations to get a pair specifically flown in would be very appreciated”

In remarkable scenes, Queen of Capri P!nk herself heard her fan’s plight and vowed to present her with her own set of white capris at the concert. A spokesperson for P!nk told The Times,

“Making wishes come true is what P!nk does. She wants that stadium bubbling with middle aged saddo energy”

Well done P!nk.

RELATED: P!nk Disappoints WA Fans, Says She’s Only Coming To Perth To Pick Up Her Car

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