In a breakthrough discovery, the virus that causes foot-and-mouth disease has been found to resist the temptation to travel via Crocs. Showing a natural repulsion like we see in humans.
Not only does the virus shudder at the thought of being seen on Crocs but the footwear itself lends itself to being washed with ease. Australian Quarantine & Border Control is calling it a win-win situation.
We spoke to a spokesperson for Australian biosecurity who told The Times,
“It’s funny, a virus is one of the least complicated organisms on Earth yet even it can recognise that Crocs are an egregious eyesore. Just like in humans, some virii with no shame might consider catching a ride but it’s less likely”
Scientists have even discovered that the more heinous the Croc the less likely it will contain traces of FMD. A lead egghead told The Times,
“We are pretty excited by the results. It seems bright pink Crocs couldn’t carry FMD if a herd of cattle all took a huge shit on them. You might look like a goose but through a biosecurity perspective, it’s a very safe option”
We spoke to a Crocs enthusiast who said the discovery was mindblowing to him. Adding,
“Usually people look at me knocking about in me Crocs and assume I’ve got some kind of contagious disease capable of bringing down an entire agricultural industry. So suck on this rubber ya mutts!”
On the other foot, travellers are urged to avoid RM Williams or Surfer Joes when travelling,
“Look, that’s the Rolls Royce of footwear and any destructive little piece of shit is going to want luxury travel into Australia. So avoid at all costs”
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