The cost of living crisis affects us all. Especially the City’s exotic dancers who have noticed a steady decline in customers even remotely making it rain while watching their shows.
One could only imagine the excitement felt when the community heard about a generous punter or punters making it rain on Mitchell Freeway to the tune of $40k.
Needless to say, traffic is gridlocked (slightly more than usual) as the exotic dancing community has set up poles along the Freeway hoping to cop some of this windfall. We spoke to a skimpy who told The Times,
“I started dancing during the boomtown era and life was good! Now I’m getting tipped with shrapnel. Not even gold either. Silver. Someone gave me a handful of 20c pieces, I thanked him but it isn’t paying the bills”
Another dancer told The Times that seeing that many pineapples so carelessly discarded into the air reminded her of Diggers & Dealers. Adding,
“I can’t survive on just one Diggers & Dealers conference per year so you better believe I was down there in Connolly this morning seeing if I could encourage another display of wealth disruption”
We spoke to a tradie who has since called in sick to work and is just doing laps of the Freeway on/off ramps enjoying the show. He told The Times,
“Gotta hand it to whoever splashed all that cash last night. Bit disappointing it has gone to the criminal justice system and not the girls but thems the breaks. I’m doing my bit and call on every trade to get down here with their Greyhounds winnings to help share the love”
Police are warning all motorists to exercise extreme care and under no circumstance to get out of their cars to look for any of the money found strewn across the freeway last night.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?