Regular Perth FIFO bloke mistaken for Post Malone at Spilt Milk Festival

An unfortunate punter has been swarmed outside Claremont Showgrounds by an adoring group of fans who mistook him for U.S artist Post Malone.

It took the fans several minutes to believe the man’s pleas that he wasn’t Postie but rather an underground miner hoping to enjoy a festival on his week off. A witness told The Times,

“I’m not surprised, half of the WA FIFO community looks a fair bit like Post Malone after all. He kept saying his name was Shannon and he’ll belt the next prick who touched his face. He ended up belting 4 people”

We spoke to a Post Malone superfan who was belted by Shannon. He said he had no regrets, adding,

“We were all laughing at Postie’s amazing Aussie accent. How did he get all the WA nuanced vernacular right? That’s when I saw his fist coming for me and he called me a dogcunt. It was at that point I realised I was just harassing a FIFO worker and he was right to clock me in the snout”

Regrettably, Shannon didn’t catch on right away and thought the adoring crowd had recognised him from his Tiktoks on mining life. Adding,

“I don’t have many followers but I reckon I’m pretty hot property so when that girl asked me to sign her cleavage I thought farken yewwwww. Then they kept calling me Postie and I’m like nah carnt, names Shanno Shanno starts flexing see these biceps I’ve got a way better rig than Post Malone, how could you confuse him with this perfection?”

Authorities are warning Perth youngsters to avoid confronting FIFO workers during their R&R and to only approach heavily tattooed men if they are quite sure they have the right man.

We understand Postie has reached out to Shannon and offered him a signed vape for the trouble the dopplegangery caused him.

We can report that Shannon responded by giving Postie’s team a vape he signed and letting them know who he reckoned the real superstar is.

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