Groovin the Moo cancelled as public have seen a more appealing lineup at the opening of Perth’s first Krispy Kreme

Groovin the Moo has been forced to cancel its 2024 tour after poor ticket sales. Organisers released the following statement on their website:

“We are extremely disappointed to announce that the Groovin the Moo 2024 tour has been forced to cancel.
Ticket sales have not been sufficient to deliver a regional festival of this kind. All tickets will be refunded automatically.
Thank you to everybody who has supported the festival. We hope to be able to bring Groovin the Moo back to regional communities in the future.

While organisers may be scratching their heads as to how this could have happened, members of the public were quick to point out the obvious.

We spoke to a GTM fan who said the festival had struggled to bounce back from its pre-COVID days and this year’s lineup made the opening of Perth’s first Krispy Kreme in 2014 look like a good time. Adding,

“Yeah, I’d rather be surrounded by those sad freaks than pay my hard earned towards a very lacklustre lineup. Where are the big names? It’s an expensive little day out and Sporty Spice isn’t getting me over the line, man”

Other punters have said that the 2011 AFL Grand Final halftime entertainment would be better (Vale Meatloaf you magnificent flop).

The news has hit Bunbury losers the hardest with a whole raft of 30 year olds having to come to grips with the prospects of learning to chat to women their own age now. We spoke to one such dropkick who told The Times,

“Groovin the Shmoo more like it. I find 16-18 year olds don’t realise I’m a scumbag and are usually pretty keen to party with me back in my Commodore. Wait not 16 year olds, please remove that from your article”

No mate.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?