Good weather has always been the sweet icing on the shitty sponge cake of Perth’s drawcards. So much so, that the average Perth citizen confuses our weather trends with a personality trait. Especially when speaking to people from over East.
Peth’s summer might be hotter in the bedroom but our winters are more likely to surprise you. Like that probing digit you didn’t know you were into, you could be smacked with a 30-degree day in August. Or you could be facing your 4th once-in-a-decade storm for the month. If you are going to lay down on this meteorological mattress, you best keep an open mind.
Much like our average temperatures, Perth people have very little chill when it comes to the weather. While it may possible to own an Instagram account and not post some shit-eating, “what winter?” caption on a sunny winter day, the theory remains largely untested.
Similarly, each new once-in-a-decade storm triggers the full fuckery of small-town mindsets. Starting with outrageous media hyping and finishing with hordes of citizens with unsatisfied storm-lust brandishing their pitchforks as they call for the heads of the BOM staff.
Our carry-on is certainly not just limited to the behaviours above. Oh no, we also show the kinda tolerance to the cold that would make an ice-divers bulge look impressive. Despite the average winter temp sitting around 19 degrees, people will spend 100’s of dollars kitting themselves out like a future stiff on the slopes of Everest.
You’d think with how much Perth goes on about their great winters, the citizens wouldn’t want to miss a single day of it. Wrong. As the most popular winter activity in Perth continues to be blowing your tax refund on a trip to Bali rather than the crippling debt destroying your life.
Alas, the closest anyone will come to take-off this winter will be via a mouthful of shrooms they gathered while running the south-west police gauntlet. Thanks, Coronavirus.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?