To say Jaksen was emotional after Holden’s final appearance in Bathurst would be an understatement. To see the lions dominate the spread filled him with an unusually strong sense of red pride.
He also suffered a severe existential crisis as he reflected on the inevitable end of the Ford v Holden rivalry. A rivalry he maintains will never die in his heart. Needless to say, he was out to prove a point yesterday afternoon.
So he donned his favourite HRT jacket and hit the road. He was looking for vindication. He was looking to prove a point.
Having unsuccessfully tried to antagonise a Fairmont and a couple of Falcons, Jaksen was in a frenzy. That’s when he pulled up at the lights next to a Ford Focus. “That’ll do”, he said as he manically gave the stinkeye to his foe.
When the light went green, the Focus driver was clearly in a hurry to get away from the revving psychopath however wasn’t putting the pedal to the metal. Nevertheless, it was all Jaksen needed.
Despite having 11 demerit points and failing to check if the coast was clear, Jaksen showed that Ford Focus what a Holden could do.
In a blaze of glory, Jaksen fishtailed his way past a speed camera and managed to catch the eye of a patrolling police officer. Licence almost certainly gone, Jaksen decided that Focus driver hadn’t suffered enough humiliation and continued on before busting his tyres on the verge.
Triumphant, he got out of his wrecked Commodore and gave the double finger salute to the passing Ford Focus. Police will allege Jaksen continued to scream “YOU CALL YOURSELF A LION TAMER” while copping 3-4 taser bursts after refusing arrest.
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Looking down the barrel of a host of life-fuckingup-charges, Jaksen defiantly told officers that he did it for Holden and the rivalry is only just heating up.
We understand that Jaksen’s misso has since banned her man from watching any Bathurst footage for at least 7 days.