It’s halfway through the silly season and a young hospo worker is already begging for the sweet relief of the abyss after consecutive days of Xmas parties took their toll.
Faced with another day of drunken mayhem, Taylor has started strongly with a 5-minute cry in the cool room after a customer yelled at her for not stocking a specific brand of Prosecco that she can inexplicably only drink.
Doing her best to hold it together, Taylor told The Times,
“Who left the gate open at the flog farm? Seriously, yesterday we had to close the male toilets for 30 minutes because a couple of guys thought they’d have a long-range pissing competition. The other day a boomer had a meltdown over a suggestion he use a QR code to order quickly”
Accordingly, young Taylor must go to her happy place with a matter of great urgency. Especially as today, she will be subjected to 5 consecutive Xmas parties in a delicious little 10-hour shift.
Taylor’s coworker expressed concern about her but conceded she wasn’t much help given she was also currently dead inside. She added,
“We are essentially running off staffies, Red Bull, and vapes at the moment. A lady offered us a plate of food the other day which was a nice gesture if it wasn’t chicken that had been sitting out in the sun for 4 hours. Still ate it though”
Indeed she did and paid a horrible price. As did Taylor. However, a night on the throne is nothing compared to the realisation she has two more weeks of this madness.
That’s not to say some members of the public haven’t been actively trying to help her. Some keep reminding her to smile. Others grab lime from her station to add to their drink because Taylor must not be able to ration the fruit herself. Taylor couldn’t be more thankful,
“I love that for me. The other day a lady thought I may have forgotten the core ingredients of a gin & tonic and was kind enough to walk me through the entire process, the way she liked it. Precious memories”
It appears Taylor has managed to go to her happy place. Well done Taylor, keep it up.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
